I sat on a log on the shores of a lake at a state park one summer, looking out to the waters. It was sparkling in the sun. There were trees around me, and the breeze stirred them. It was so beautiful, so calm, and so effective to arouse my imagination. I saw myself running and biking through the park’s trails, exploring the woods and taking walks in the fall. I imagined what it would be like to travel the world, meet new and exciting people, see wild animals, and do crazy stuff. Thinking like this brought the familiar longing and ache within me. Year after year it was the same. Would my unfulfilled dreams and fading hope ever change. I would think sometimes I was like a bird whose wings were clipped and told to fly. It seemed a little cruel.
I was about to graduate high school, and I had to go to college. There was a feeling of dread in that. I like learning and even as a young girl, I dreamed of perusing a higher education. But there were things outside of school that I felt strongly of doing. Things that I avoided with endless to do list. Things that would build my character and help me become more of the person I was created to be. When would I ever have the time to do these things? It all itched at me so much so that I could almost yell to the sky, “What!”
But as I sat there, a dream was realized. I could take a break. Was that even possible? I think it felt a little dangerous. like I said, I had always expected college to be my next steps. Now, I was thinking of not going? There was freedom in that thought. I could feel myself get excited. And that day a seed was planted.
Sometime later, sitting at church, I was moved with the same inspiration. Something about the message moved me. I felt something withing me point to make my break longer, four to five years in fact. My stomach dropped a little. Part of me was like, “Five years?” I wanted to go to college eventually! What would people say, and what if I get behind in life? But part of me was praying to God that this was His will. I felt like a child begging her dad for something she really wanted, waiting and hoping He would say yes.
Knowing the things I know now; I believe He did. What an incredible first year it has been. And I want to tell you more about it later. But I just want to say, here is to a new beginning. A time to continue to discover how to be a child before a great Father. A time set apart for growing more in skill and wisdom. Although I am not going to college, this is not a time for idleness. Now is a time to move and do. Now is a time to be taught and to serve. I am not sure how this season is going to go. I just have a cleared schedule and a heart pumping with excitement and anticipation and sometimes fear. It’s almost like, “get this on camera, something is about to happen” moment.
One last thing…you should know something about the bird I was talking about. You see, the wings weren’t clipped. They were still developing. I miss understood. It was the wrong time to fly because I was still growing. All those years weren’t wasted time. They were intentional. He was developing me and growing my character. I love this time of my life that I had with Him. It taught me to love the journey as much as the destination.
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:20)