There are moments in life when you are faced with something beyond yourself. The circumstances and situations too much. And something in you is endangered of dying, the sparkle in your eyes slowly disappearing. It’s full of fear and darkness. The darkest part of the room doesn’t feel dark enough and every tear you cry hurts. Everything just hurts. The things you hung on to and the people…they fade away. The heart in an instant can harden, closing all out. I’ve learned that what you do here matters. It can make or break you.
It’s okay to cry. Its ok to take time to heal. Now please stay with me, especially since you want to shut all out. I want to tell you something you don’t want to hear. That someone you avoid most, He can change your life. It might take everything in you to just open your mouth and scream out but what’s holding you back. In this moment, learn what this verse means, “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you don’t know (Jer. 33:3).” You have a choice, and I know you might be using it to do the wrong things right now. But today it can be different. In this moment, it can be different. The sad songs can only go so far, the distractions easily lose their taste. But see Him who died for you. See Him who bore your pain and sin. He says, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that you might have life, and that you might have it more abundantly (John 10:10).” I believe in You, help my unbelief. Let His Spirit wash over you, refreshing you anew. Let Him take rulership over your life. It won’t be easy. Walk with Him. Make memories with Him. This part of your life, though incredibly hard, is the sweetest because of the time you have with Him. He is so lovely and wonderful beyond imagination. When you get to experience it, you might ask me why I didn’t explain it better! I’m trying my friend; my words can only go so far for something that has to be experienced personally. I recommend starting with the book of psalms, allow it to speak your heart. May El Roi lead you…keep you…protect you…and grow you in Love. Lord let it be.
sincerely,
Your Older Self